Office Memo 1
Laura, Laura- we adore her-
How does your office run?
With Outlook dates and fierce debates,
And Facebook, just for fun.
Laura, Laura- don’t ignore her-
How do you spend your day?
With meeting rooms and smoking fumes,
And work- to her dismay.
Laura, Laura- we implore her-
Please don’t ever go.
Work would be drear without you here
To keep us in the know.
Office Memo 2
Charge your glass, propose a toast-
this is the part I like the most.
Whenever someone else resigns,
we go and drink a lot of wine
or whiskey, or a peach bellini,
or if we’re feeling posh, martini.
There’ll always be a new excuse
to out our drinking caps to use!
So charge your glass and make a toast
to everybody’s favourite host.
The life and soul of every bar;
you are the best excuse by far!
The Poem of Knowledge
The day you won the panels’ hearts
with promises of tea,
you can’t have known your prize was just
to come and work with me!
You can’t have known how much it meant
to have you on my team;
Just asking if I needed help
and how my day had been.
Just asking if I’m struggling,
before it is too late.
I know it might sound crazy,
but that’s why you’re so great!
I know I may be biased,
as your part-time, nine to five wife,
but honestly, I have to say:
I think you saved my life!
The Shift Before Christmas
‘Twas the shift before Christmas,
And all throughout Bath,
The tourists were shopping
And having a laugh.
But up in the office-
their work’s penthouse suite-
the planning team’s work
was not quite complete.
The site maps were hung
By the printer with care,
In the hope the display
Would inspire people there.
And down on the first floor,
With JB and co,
Was Jeremy Smalley:
The man in the know.
For he was the person
The team longed to see-
But not half as much
As they longed to be free:
To run past the abbey,
And drink the mulled wine
They sold at the market
Then go out to dine.
The team Christmas party
Was set for that night,
But Jeremy Smalley
Was nowhere in sight.
They sent him an email,
Which quickly bounced back:
His inbox was full-
Just like Santa’s sack!
They sent him a message,
(An IM I’m told),
But they still couldn’t reach him-
Their food would be cold!
They knew if they called him
They wouldn’t get through-
His phone’s through to Laura,
(I think mine is too….)
As five ‘o’ clock passed,
And the ground floor went home,
The planning team realized
That they were alone.
They looked out the window,
To watch JB go,
His mobile in one hand,
Two fags on the go.
When they knew that their leader
Was all on his own,
And this was their chance
Not to let him postpone,
They shut down the power,
So work had to pause:
Poor Jeremy Smalley!
He heard their applause.
So he picked up his bag,
And he put on his coat,
And he readied himself
For his team-mates to gloat.
But all that he saw,
As he came down the stairs,
Were his planning team colleagues
Showing they care.
And they heard him exclaim,
As the party began:
“Merry Christmas to all-
Get as drunk as you can!”
Copyright © 2017 Sarah Askew
Laura, Laura- we adore her-
How does your office run?
With Outlook dates and fierce debates,
And Facebook, just for fun.
Laura, Laura- don’t ignore her-
How do you spend your day?
With meeting rooms and smoking fumes,
And work- to her dismay.
Laura, Laura- we implore her-
Please don’t ever go.
Work would be drear without you here
To keep us in the know.
Office Memo 2
Charge your glass, propose a toast-
this is the part I like the most.
Whenever someone else resigns,
we go and drink a lot of wine
or whiskey, or a peach bellini,
or if we’re feeling posh, martini.
There’ll always be a new excuse
to out our drinking caps to use!
So charge your glass and make a toast
to everybody’s favourite host.
The life and soul of every bar;
you are the best excuse by far!
The Poem of Knowledge
The day you won the panels’ hearts
with promises of tea,
you can’t have known your prize was just
to come and work with me!
You can’t have known how much it meant
to have you on my team;
Just asking if I needed help
and how my day had been.
Just asking if I’m struggling,
before it is too late.
I know it might sound crazy,
but that’s why you’re so great!
I know I may be biased,
as your part-time, nine to five wife,
but honestly, I have to say:
I think you saved my life!
The Shift Before Christmas
‘Twas the shift before Christmas,
And all throughout Bath,
The tourists were shopping
And having a laugh.
But up in the office-
their work’s penthouse suite-
the planning team’s work
was not quite complete.
The site maps were hung
By the printer with care,
In the hope the display
Would inspire people there.
And down on the first floor,
With JB and co,
Was Jeremy Smalley:
The man in the know.
For he was the person
The team longed to see-
But not half as much
As they longed to be free:
To run past the abbey,
And drink the mulled wine
They sold at the market
Then go out to dine.
The team Christmas party
Was set for that night,
But Jeremy Smalley
Was nowhere in sight.
They sent him an email,
Which quickly bounced back:
His inbox was full-
Just like Santa’s sack!
They sent him a message,
(An IM I’m told),
But they still couldn’t reach him-
Their food would be cold!
They knew if they called him
They wouldn’t get through-
His phone’s through to Laura,
(I think mine is too….)
As five ‘o’ clock passed,
And the ground floor went home,
The planning team realized
That they were alone.
They looked out the window,
To watch JB go,
His mobile in one hand,
Two fags on the go.
When they knew that their leader
Was all on his own,
And this was their chance
Not to let him postpone,
They shut down the power,
So work had to pause:
Poor Jeremy Smalley!
He heard their applause.
So he picked up his bag,
And he put on his coat,
And he readied himself
For his team-mates to gloat.
But all that he saw,
As he came down the stairs,
Were his planning team colleagues
Showing they care.
And they heard him exclaim,
As the party began:
“Merry Christmas to all-
Get as drunk as you can!”
Copyright © 2017 Sarah Askew